Last Night’s Dream

I awoke from a vivid dream last night. In the dream, I was running toward some friends with a device that was some sort of bomb. My plan was to let it explode, and take me out on the way. But in the dream, I realized that  was not what I wanted to do after all. Despite the problems I have been experiencing in my life (and in the dream) I want to live and make my life better!
I have been depressed over the realities of deaths of dear family and friends, disability of close family member, family members being at odds, beloved dogs dying and leaving a huge void, bonding emotionally with others and having them suddenly leave and losing that closeness, business struggles… I have allowed these events to pull me into a very dark place and I have spent the last several months feeling hopeless. (The bomb)
But after a strangely unsettling visit to a psychologist, I realized that I don’t want to allow myself to feel hopeless any longer. Just because things aren’t great doesn’t mean that they won’t ever get better. I got overwhelmed by the sudden confluence of sad events, but that doesn’t mean the future will continue to be bleak and unrewarding.
I don’t need to make any major changes in my relationships. I’m fine the way I am. I just need to work on building new ones to fill the voids. The dream felt like an epiphany. A weight was lifted from my heart. It’s strange how something like that can happen, even when you’re sound asleep. What a blessing that sleep was to me last night.